Motherhood II

What can reduce an otherwise ”all-together” mom to tears in a matter of seconds?  What do the majority of mothers all over the world have in common, regardless of our skin color or socioeconomic status?  What do we, as moms, allow the Enemy to use to stunt our progress, steal our joy, and sidetrack us from our mission?  GUILT!

I’d venture to guess that guilt is one of the most common emotions that moms feel.  Whether you stay at home with your children or you are out in the workforce, I’d bet my last dollar that you have certainly felt guilt for what you are or are not doing for your children.  In fact, for me personally, labor was a cakewalk compared to this guilt that I fight!

So what does this guilt look like?  What kinds of things does it say to us?

“You haven’t spent enough time with your children today.”

“You should be doing more for your kids in this (fill in the blank) area.”

“You are so far from the Proverbs 31 woman!”

“You have failed.  If only you had _____.”

“You’re not a good enough mom!  Look at all those moms that do it better!”

I’m sure that no one can relate to these “voices.”  (Sarcasm)  Now, I recognize that not all guilt is false guilt, or accusations from the Enemy.  Sometimes, the Holy Spirit will prick our consciences to alert us to behavior that is selfish or harmful to our children.  This is His way of asking us to reflect on those behaviors and possibly change them or sacrifice our selfish desires in some way.  That is between you and the Lord to discuss.  An easy way to remember it is this: the Holy Spirit convicts us when we are stepping outside of God’s plan for our lives (and it is based on love), but it is Satan who condemns (based on hate).  The guilt that condemns is the kind that I am talking about here.  This guilt assaults moms who are already sacrificing, already molding and shaping their children’s hearts with God’s wisdom, already spending quality time with their kids, and already doing their utmost in the ministry of raising godly children.  Above and beyond that, this guilt tends to grab hold of us and tries to (1) undermine the work we are already doing with our children and/or (2) tire us by getting us to do more and more and more to make up for perceived deficits.  Both responses render us ineffective. 

So what can we do?

1.  Ask God to examine our hearts and our priorities.  Ask Him whether He is telling us something through the work of the Holy Spirit and His Word (“All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness.” 2 Timothy 3:16) or whether Satan is accusing us (Revelation 12:10 calls the Enemy the “accuser of our brothers, who accuses them before our God day and night.“). 

2.  Fight fire with fire.  Fight the guilt from the Enemy with the promises and declarations from the Word of God.

Romans 8:1 “Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.” 

3.  Connect and fellowship with other believers, and share your feelings and struggles.  It is when we struggle all alone with these feelings of guilt that they become overwhelming and start to destroy–chipping away at our Christ-esteem, undermining our parenting, and infecting our marriages.  First and foremost, share them with God.  Then find other godly moms with whom you feel safe and let them know you are struggling.  Not only will they help to show you a more biblical perspective, but they will often times clear away the web of deception for you and help you to see that you are not nearly the failure that your emotions (and the Enemy) would have you believe. 

Now, I don’t know about you, but I’m going to go hug my son, tell him that I love him, and then stand on the Truth of God’s Word as I do my best, with the Holy Spirit’s leading, to train him up in the way he should go (Proverbs 22:6).  As moms, let’s refuse to allow Satan to cripple us with false guilt anymore.

Note:  This is Part II of a series of posts on motherhood.  Check out Part I here, in the Parenting Section of Standing on Truth.

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